We've hit a speed bump

If you recall from my last post, D & I were on cloud nine after meeting our boys last weekend.  We instantly fell for them and could not wait to see them again.  We scheduled two times this week to see them again, and I planned on getting my visitation schedule approved and maternity leave.  Tuesday morning, I get a call from my social worker.  Apparently, we were supposed to have requested prior approval before holding a disclosure meeting and first meeting.   Central Office in Boston needs to approve the match to ensure there is no conflict of interest or I did not going about finding J & J in an unethical way.

To give a little background, it used to be not so difficult for DCF social workers to adopt.  The story goes that someone or many someone's complained that DCF workers were "cherry-picking" babies.  There is even a myth out there that social workers were removing children just so that they or their friends could adopt them.  This sounds a little absurd to me. Trust me, removing children is the last thing we want to do.  I think there should not be any barriers to a child going to a safe permanent home.  The social worker for the children should get to choose from the best possible pool of applicants.  Maybe that happens to be a social worker, or maybe not.

Needless to say, we were devastated.  We were so looking forward to seeing them again.  My main worry was that we told four-year-old J that we were coming back.  It saddened me to think that he might think we weren't coming because we didn't like him or want him. I called the foster parents, and they assured me the children don't really understand anyway, and especially time and days of the week.

We finally felt like there was progress, and then our hopes were sunk.  My social worker assures me this will be approved, it is just a matter of when.  They are not going to find a conflict of interest.  I am really hoping it will still be before Christmas.  I am hoping we may even be able to keep our date of 12/12/12.

In the meantime, we are still plugging along trying to get things ready.  I had the car seats installed at the police station.  The grandmothers are throwing together a shower.  And we finally got the crib together for little J. (Okay, D and father-in-law put it together after much swearing).

Please hope and pray that we will get the go ahead this week to resume visitation and set an official date! I am hoping that whoever the higher-up is up in Boston will be in the Christmas spirit, and want these boys placed together in a forever home before the Holidays.

D and I both took a couple days to get over the anger and sadness.  We are now trying to see this as a little speed bump.  They are still our boys.  And they will be home with us.  I found it fitting that my favorite non-profit Rise Above displayed this quotation on their FB page today:

 “Even if things don't unfold the way you expected, don't be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the end.”- Daisaku Ikeda