I am sad to say we have decided to say no the the two children we were called about. I don't want to get into specifics, but I just felt their needs were something more than we were ready to take on at this point. I feel sad about it. They were really cute. It was probably a good thing we didn't meet them. I may have wanted to take them home on the spot. I just don't think it was a match for us. Like most things in life, I think it is important to go with your heart and your gut.
I think it's okay to not say "yes" to our 1st phone call. But what if the next one or next two doesn't seem right? Will we be blacklisted?
We have already been called about a 1 and 3 year old. That is all I know about them. I was supposed to hear back today, but nothing.
Over the past week, two family members have questioned us taking on two kids. I have to admit, I felt a little hurt. They questioned if we could afford the day care and other expenses. They worried it would put stress on our marriage. I will admit there are days when I have doubted if we can handle being a two adult household to a family of four. But I have seen people do it. Most new parents just rise to the occasion. They make it work. I think that is what we will do. I am sure we will make mistakes. But I feel like all sings are telling me it is right to go through with our plan.
We also looked at our 1st day care today. It is interesting, researching day care and adopting. I obviously don't know age, gender, or when they will be with us. I also would want them to be in the same daycare, and I am finding many only have spots for children 2.5 and above. I am also debating part-time versus full-time. Center-based versus home-based. These are tough decisions. But I feel like this is finally one of our first steps that is just like other "regular" parents.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Big Day!
Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions. I started the day at work, and opened my e-mail to find out that DCF FINALLY approved us!!! We are now able to officially adopt in the state of MA. Just getting that piece of paper seemed like it took forever. In reality, it took 4 months. Those were 4 of the longest months of my life.
About 2 hours later, I got a call from my social worker. She wanted to know if we were interested in a sibling group - a 1 year old girl and 3 year-old boy. I wanted to scream "of-course." I did call my husband, and he agreed that we were interested. I don't have a lot of details about the children. But I did see a picture, and they are adorable. I don't want to post too many specifics because of confidentiality.
It is crazy to think that we could have two toddlers in a relatively short time frame. This adoption process went from zero to sixty in a matter of hours. I should know because I work there, but it is true that DCF has 2 paces - painfully slow or lightening-fast. There have been times I have doubted if we can handle it. We will go from a childless couple to parents of 2 instantly. There will be challenges. We have missed out on their early years, and may have to make up for some of that. I would like to think we can handle it, because it is what I have wanted for so long. I hope that like most parents, we will just rise to the occasion.
A big relief is that I was able to "go public" on Facebook with the news. We had told close friends and family, but some people still didn't know. I have been blown away by the kind comments I have received since posting the news. People I haven't seen in years have sent personal comments about different ways their lives have been touched by adoption. I can't describe the feeling of having everyone be so happy for you and excited. It makes me feel like the children will be very loved when they are home with us.
About 2 hours later, I got a call from my social worker. She wanted to know if we were interested in a sibling group - a 1 year old girl and 3 year-old boy. I wanted to scream "of-course." I did call my husband, and he agreed that we were interested. I don't have a lot of details about the children. But I did see a picture, and they are adorable. I don't want to post too many specifics because of confidentiality.
It is crazy to think that we could have two toddlers in a relatively short time frame. This adoption process went from zero to sixty in a matter of hours. I should know because I work there, but it is true that DCF has 2 paces - painfully slow or lightening-fast. There have been times I have doubted if we can handle it. We will go from a childless couple to parents of 2 instantly. There will be challenges. We have missed out on their early years, and may have to make up for some of that. I would like to think we can handle it, because it is what I have wanted for so long. I hope that like most parents, we will just rise to the occasion.
A big relief is that I was able to "go public" on Facebook with the news. We had told close friends and family, but some people still didn't know. I have been blown away by the kind comments I have received since posting the news. People I haven't seen in years have sent personal comments about different ways their lives have been touched by adoption. I can't describe the feeling of having everyone be so happy for you and excited. It makes me feel like the children will be very loved when they are home with us.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Baby Prep
I have found it is hard to try to prepare for such a wide age range. Parents who are pregnant know when the baby will be coming, and that they will be a newborn. I am trying to prepare for anything from birth to age 5. How do you prepare for that? As part of the preparation, I came across two parenting DVD's: The Happiest Baby on the Block, and The Happiest Toddler on the Block.
These DVD's are based on the books by the same names. I was able to find them both on Netflix. The Happiest Baby is basically how to soothe a crying baby. The Happiest Toddler deals more with tantrums, and how to prevent them and de-escalate them. I have met parents in real life who swear by the methods in the Baby DVD. I found that movies to be helpful, because you can see the techniques in real life. You also get to see a lot of adorable babies. :) Now the production quality? Let's just say that it won't be winning any Oscar's. The Dr. is kind of goofy and cheesy, but gives practical advice without being condescending.
I found some of the techniques in the toddler DVD to seem a little silly. Some advice was similar to social work skills, such as reflection (restating what the person said). I haven't met anyone who tried these techniques, so I guess time will tell. It may still be worth watching for other parents of toddlers, because they are so short. Being in DVD form, there is also a better chance the my husband will watch them.
I have also been reading What to Expect: The First Year and What to Expect: The Toddler Years. To be honest, I find them kind of overwhelming. There is a lot of information. I feel like the author talks down to people without giving real advice. Some of the information may be helpful as a reference when we actually have children in the home.
I found some of the techniques in the toddler DVD to seem a little silly. Some advice was similar to social work skills, such as reflection (restating what the person said). I haven't met anyone who tried these techniques, so I guess time will tell. It may still be worth watching for other parents of toddlers, because they are so short. Being in DVD form, there is also a better chance the my husband will watch them.
I have also been reading What to Expect: The First Year and What to Expect: The Toddler Years. To be honest, I find them kind of overwhelming. There is a lot of information. I feel like the author talks down to people without giving real advice. Some of the information may be helpful as a reference when we actually have children in the home.
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