The start of two rooms

We have made some progress in the children's bedroom and what will be the playroom.  We are still keeping things pretty neutral, because I hope to have our child's input.  Well, if they are verbal.  Even toddlers have favorites. We are waiting on painting the bedroom until we know gender/theme.  We did buy some ocean blue paint.  I could easily make it purple if need be.

Here are some pics of the bedroom:

The toddler bed and Craigslist dresser. We will use the dresser as changing table if needed.

My former wardrobe we painted white.

Our bookcase. We are slowly building our collection!

 We also have a crib that can be converted into a toddler bed or full size bed.  We are waiting on putting it together until we know ages of the children.

This is the start of our downstairs playroom.  I wish I had a before picture.  It was our workout room, with dark gray walls.

We painted the walls a cantaloupe color.

Free cabinet we got from our neighbor's yard sale.  I hope to fill it with arts and craft supplies.

 Next the list: A rug and foam flooring.  This is what I have in mind:

Learning Carpets Fun at the Zoo

Imaginarium ABC Foam Blocks

Have I mentioned I can't wait to have this room filled with toys? The toys R Us Catalogis in my house right now.  Must. Show. Restraint.

"I Just Need Possible."

I am a sucker for movies made for tweens. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, 10 Things I Hate About You, Aquamarine.  Today, I got suckered in to watching Soul Surfer for probably the 5th time.  I find the movie so inspiring, with the perfect amount of cheesiness.  I can't wait until I have kids old enough to enjoy cheesy teen movies with me.   One line that resonates with me from the Soul Surfer Movie is:

"I don't need easy.  I just need possible."

Even though I had been warned, I have learned the hard way that adoption from foster care is not easy.  Even once the children are home with us, it will still not be easy.  I just need to know it is possible.  It is reassuring to me that a couple from our adoption class just brought home two wonderful, healthy boys yesterday! They are now a family.  I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a twinge of jealousy.  But I know that those were the children for them, and ours are out there somewhere.  Their recent adoption reminded me that it is possible.

What a difference a day makes!

In the immortal words of Ice Cube...today was a good day!  It seems that attending the adoption party was the best decision we ever made. We got FOUR adoption related calls today.  That's right, FOUR! Our adoption social worker said that people are "fighting" to get to us first.  We hope to have some meetings set up soon with social workers to get more information.  Our social worker said we are "first choice" among the children:

1 girl, almost 4 yo.  No known special needs, no legal risk
2 boys --- 1 two yo, 1 three month old.  HIGH legal risk.  No known special needs.
2 boys - 19 month old and 4 yo.  19 mo old has PT and some motor delays.  4 yo has speech delays but is making gains.  Born methadone addicted.  Low Legal risk. Social worker MAY want a SAHP.
20 month old girl and 3 yo boy: Both on the autism spectrum, girl is having seizures.  We said no to them. :(

There was a sibling group at the adoption party of 4 girls ages 3 - 9.  Part of me wishes we could adopt them.  My husband said, "Yeah right.  Maybe with your next husband." The thing with 4 girls - they will all be teenagers at the same time!

A social worker also e-mailed our SW to request we attend another adoption party in 2 weeks at a local office.  After feeling discouraged for a little while, I am now feeling really optimistic.  Maybe one of these cases is our children/child. Maybe not.  But I guess it is nice to feel "wanted." And a reminder that our children are out there.

I have an all day training tomorrow where they have a "no phone" policy.  I will be checking my phone on the sly like a madwoman!!

Our 1st Adoption Party

We survived our first adoption party today!  This event took place at an enormous furniture retailer (Jordan's for the New Englander's.)  Social workers brought waiting children for games and activities.  Children usually love this furniture store, because the decorations are made of candy.  There is ice cream at 9 am.  There is a trapeze and fountains. This is not your average furniture store. And they had activities like face painting, temp tattoos, and a photo booth.  We were able to meet adoption social workers and give out "fliers".  It feels kind of funny "selling" ourselves.  And it was kind of comical that we were discussing our criteria and talking with social workers while sitting at new dining room sets and mattresses.

The children at the party? Totally adorable! And it did not have the "exploitative" feel I feared it would.  Staff ensured that each child was visited by someone so no one was left out.

The children at this event were older than we were initially looking for. (Typically 7 - 13).  However, I think we are starting to consider being open to a slightly older child or children.  We were hoping for two children under 5, with ideally one of them being under 2.  As I have learned about all the hurdles and red tape, I am starting to considering broadening our criteria.  At the end of the day on Friday, we got a call about a 3.5 yo girl who is legally free for adoption.  Her adoption social worker is the same one who contacted us about the 1st sibling group we ended up saying no to.  I told her maybe, but we are now leaning to "yes." At least after getting a little more information.

I worry that I may feel like missing out on the baby experience. I certainly do not want to take out that need of mine on a vulnerable child.  Then I remind myself that 3 and 4 year olds are so fun and sweet.  There will be upsides to having a child who is verbal, possibly potty-trained, and may be a good sleeper.  (These are maybes.  Fingers crossed).  I will get to enjoy the maternity leave doing fun activities and getting them into a routine.  A 4 year-old can have a say in their room and playroom decor.  There is also the opportunity that we can adopt an infant or toddler later on, after things settle down and we have a little grasp on the whole parenting thing.

I was able to talk to the supervisor for the little girl.  She sounds like it could be a great match.  She is legally free for adoption, and her social worker really wants to find a home for her.  We are hoping to get more information and possibly a picture as soon as this week.

Now, how to stop myself from updating my phone every 3.5 seconds.....

One step forward, 2 steps back

I feel like the last 2 months have been a rollercoaster..  We get a call, we get excited. And then nothing.  We have been waiting on one particular sibling group since August.  I was told Friday officially we can't adopt them because a) there is someone else interested b) because of the office they are from, it would be a conflict.  We have been called a few other times, but told we can't be considered because of where I work.
I really want to do something about this, but don't know what.  Write a letter to our governor or senator? Our Commissioner? Arrange a sit-in Central Office (okay, I am kidding. Kind of).

We are trying to focus on the positive.  Our extra room in our finished basement is slowly becoming a playroom.  This used to be our workout room.  As we painted the formerly gray walls and sold our weight bench on Craigslist, I think my husband shed a tear.  But I can't wait to make this the funnest playroom ever! It is now a canteloupe orange. Now we just need some kids.

We have some events coming up that we are hoping will lead to something.  We are going to our first "Adoption Party" on Sunday.  We are hoping to go to a workshop and meet some social workers who may have waiting children for us.  The children at the party will likely be older, in the 7 - 12 age range.  Hmmm, I wonder if we will change our minds? We are also going to a "Match" meeting in 3 weeks at a nearby office.  I consider this to be like "show-and-tell" for hopeful parents and social workers.  Social workers bring profiles and pictures of children they have needing to be adopted, and we have a profile and can talk with social workers.  Children won't be at this event.  I am hoping something positive comes out of one of these events.  At least we are putting ourselves out there.

Also, I added a link for you to be a follower of my blog! Please follow and share with friends!

It has been a month since we first heard about the sibling group.  Alas, still no news.  It is frustrating that I was told that they have to look into other families first because "they can't make it look like they just gave them to us because I am a DCF worker."  Trust me, I haven't gotten any special treatment.  We also got a call about a 22 month old boy that needed placement.  We expressed interest.  However, once again I was told we can't take "immediate placements" because of where I work.  Central Office would never approve it in time.  A co-worker who adopted through DCF told me I could call the "ombudsman's" office.  This is someone who handles complaints.  I am almost there.  I feel like I need to tread carefully because a) This is where I work.  I kind of like getting a paycheck. and B) I have no problems with our social worker.  She has been wonderful.  I don't want to throw her under the bus, or get "black-listed" by other social workers for basically talking trash.
October 1st marked the 1 year anniversary of us starting the adoption process.  That is when I had to go through our Central Office for permission. While it is frustrating that we still don't have a child, I am trying to have some perspective.  I know some people wait far longer than that to even get pregnant.  And that a year is a drop in the bucket compared to infant adoption and International Adoption.  But I know and see every day that there are children in foster care that need to be adopted.  They are here and they are waiting.  I have seen all too well the effects of a child bounced around without a permanent home.  And we are here, willing to give a child or children a safe, loving home.  And the process just gets in the way.
On a positive note, D is on a staycation so I took a personal day.  Guess where we are going? Home Depot! Exciting, I know,.  We are going to get paint for the children's room and playroom, and for the furniture.  I am mostly excited that the room that is going to be the playroom is currently a dark gray color.  And has wrestling posters on the walls.  Yes, D picked it out.  I married a 10 year old.