We found out last week that the boys' mother had her rights terminated officially. The TPR actually occured in December, but the trickle down of information took awhile with the holiday and people being on vacation. While this was a relief for us in some way, I know it is a loss for the boys. They do know who she is, and until 1 month before placement were having supervised visits once per week.
The boys have a termination visit with her tomorrow, and then will have two yearly visits. I have been told she wants to meet us, which is something I am willing to do. She says she has a scrapbook with baby pictures, and will write down her and her family's medical history. Those will be priceless to me. A social worker will supervise the visit, and D and I will have to leave for two hours. This will be really hard, but it would be harder to see them call someone else "Mommy" or "Mama".
I have to admit I harbor some anger towards her. I am angry she used substances while pregnant, but mostly that she was given three chances by the court and didn't get it together. It makes me sad and angry that Big J was reunified home with his mother twice just to be removed again. I wish she didn't get his hopes up in that way. I have to remind myself that there were other systems at play that allowed this to occur as well.
On one hand I am thankful for her for giving us our boys. She brought them into the world and gave them some qualities we love about them. She never physically harmed them, she just wasn't able to get her own life together. I also find myself being overprotective when other people talk negatively about her. I certainly don't think she is a bad person.
I am curious as to how the boys will handle the visit. This is their first one since they have been with us, and I hope it is not overwhelming for them. I hope they see it as their family growing rather than shrinking. They will have two mommies, and lots of grandparents.
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