Saying Goodbye to a Pet

     As foster parents/pre-adoptive parents, we are supposed to be experts in loss.  Each child has already experienced loss in some way.  In our case, Big J had been in 5 foster homes in his short life, reunified with his mother and then removed 3 times, and had one foster parent pass away.  Little J was moved to us after being with his foster mom since he was 3 weeks old.
    When they came to us, it was certainly an adjustment.  I will say having pets is a nice icebreaker and comforting to kids.  Big J liked to help feed the kitties and the bunny, and play with toys with them.  One of our brave cats will sit near him and let them pet him.  Having kids feed the pets (obviously with supervision) is a way to get the pets to like the kids. The bunny would let the kids pet him until little J grabbed him by the ear.
    3 weeks after the children were placed with us, we noticed one night our little bunny Dexter was breathing funny.  It was almost as if he were choking or about to throw up.  He wouldn't eat his food.  Big J looked at me and said "Is he gonna die?" I said "Mommy will bring him to the doctor, he just doesn't feel good."
     We out big J to bed and I took the bunny to the after-hours vet.  They said bunnies are not their specialty, but they would see what they could do.  I told them they need to save this bunny or we will have very sad kids.  They sent us home, saying it was an upper-respiratory infection.  They gave us antibiotics and liquid nutrients.  We came home, and gave him his medicine.  I checked on him in the middle of the night when I woke up because Big J was having a nightmare. He had passed away. :(

I woke up D and told him.  We didn't want the kids to find him like that. I had a moment when I considered checking the shelters for a black and white bunny.  But then I realized that wouldn't be right.

The next morning, My mother-in-law came over so we could have Bunny cremated.  I got a book from the library - The Berenstein Bears Lose a Friend. I found  a frame to get a framed picture of the bunny.

Big J was sad when we told him the news, but then wanted to go play.  Kids are resilient like that.  But then he would ask us why the bunny left and that he wanted us to find him.  I think he will get it eventually.  That day, one of our cats was meowing all day and big J would ask me why.  I said "I think he is sad because he misses the bunny." The next day the kitty was sitting on the bench, and Big J took a stuffed animal bunny and put it next to the kitty.  I asked why, and he sad "So the kitty won't be sad." 

How sweet are my boys? Well, most of the time.