Book Review Plus Small Updates

    I finally found a positive book on adoption and attachment.  I recently finished "The Connected Child" by David Cross, Karyn Purvis, and Wendy Sunshine.
 Link to Barnes and Noble

This book is best suited for someone adopting a toddler, preschool, or even latency-age child.  The book uses practical tools and suggestions of discipline and promoting attachment, while reminding the reader of the perspective of an adopted child.  I did not find this book to be depressing or condescending.  While some of the advice may not be completely feasible 100% of the time, (such as when you toddler is having a meltdown at a grocery store) many of the tools are practical and real-world tested.
I downloaded the e-book, but may find a used copy or library copy so my husband will read it.  At just under 200 pages, it is a relatively quick read.  Some of the situations may make more sense to me when we have a child in our home.  We will have to remember that our children will likely have had a history of trauma, and may be untrusting of caretakers.  What works on other toddlers/children may not work on them.

As far as updates, nothing concrete on the two children we were called about.  We hope to find out more information this week.  The children's social worker was supposed to meet them last week, and get their picture and e-mail it to me.  I spent the day stalking my smartphone for an e-mail beep, text message, or phone call.  Alas, I got nothing.  I called my social worker when I couldn't handle it anymore, and found out the children's social worker had to cancel her home visit due to another case.  It may be two weeks before we know any more.  And that is not even about setting up a formal meeting or even visits.  It is frustrating, but I should know that that is how things work.
I am already talking about them as if they are my children.  I use their first names and talk about them when talking in the future.

Last week, I made a photobook about our family on shutterfly to give to the children or their social worker.  I made it generic, in case these particular children do not work out for us. I don't want to post pics for privacy reasons, but this is what I included:

Pictures of us
A picture of our house and yard
our pets
siblings and our parents
our interests with little photos (like beach, bikes, etc.)
I left some pages blank in the back, and wrote (your photos will go here) and one for random stickers.  What kid doesn't love stickers?

I put a Winnie-the Pooh quote and picture at the end: "Sometimes," said Pooh, "The smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

Baby Prep

I have found it is hard to try to prepare for such a wide age range.  Parents who are pregnant know when the baby will be coming, and that they will be a newborn.  I am trying to prepare for anything from birth to age 5.  How do you prepare for that? As part of the preparation, I came across two parenting DVD's: The Happiest Baby on the Block, and The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

      These DVD's are based on the books by the same names.  I was able to find them both on Netflix.  The Happiest Baby is basically how to soothe a crying baby.  The Happiest Toddler deals more with tantrums, and how to prevent them and de-escalate them.  I have met parents in real life who swear by the methods in the Baby DVD.  I found that movies to be helpful, because you can see the techniques in real life. You also get to see a lot of adorable babies. :)  Now the production quality? Let's just say that it won't be winning any Oscar's.  The Dr. is kind of goofy and cheesy, but gives practical advice without being condescending.
     I found some of the techniques in the toddler DVD to seem a little silly.  Some advice was similar to social work skills, such as reflection (restating what the person said). I haven't met anyone who tried these techniques, so I guess time will tell.  It may still be worth watching for other parents of toddlers, because they are so short.  Being in DVD form, there is also a better chance the my husband will watch them.
     I have also been reading What to Expect: The First Year and What to Expect: The Toddler Years. To be honest, I find them kind of overwhelming.   There is a lot of information. I feel like the author talks down to people without giving real advice.  Some of the information may be helpful as a reference when we actually have children in the home.